Peace
it does not mean to be in a place
where there is no noise, trouble or hard work.
It means to be in the midst of those things
and still be calm in your heart.
 Values-based mediation and coaching focuses on connection before outcome, and then creating mutually sustainable outcomes emerging from that connection.
Conflict Coaching
Conflict coaching is the latest trend in Alternative Dispute Resolution. Conflict Coaching focuses on assisting individuals to improve their competency in conflict management. It is a dynamic, practical and productive process in which individuals build their capacity to develop creative and constructive ways to handle conflict and resolve disputes that negatively impact on either their professional or personal life.
Do you avoid conflict because you are worried about escalation or losing it?
Prepare and practice new skills to build your confidence so you can engage with the real issues - moving beyond flight or fight.
Are you wondering how to sort out an on-going conflict?
What you are doing now is not getting you what you want or need and you want a new, fresh way to sort out this conflict.
Do you need to have a difficult conversation?
Prepare for difficult conversations so that you can engage with integrity and grace while working towards effective outcomes.
As a Conflict Coach I can:
- help you examine your views about conflict and how you deal with it
- prepare for anticipated disputes or difficult conversations
- assist you to gain more insight into how conflict impacts on you and others
- explore your options for moving forward
- facilitate shifts in how you respond to conflict
- help you develop and apply effective communication skills
Individual Coaching
By attending one-on-one sessions I can help you work out what is important to you in regard to the conflict, to improve your response to conflict, and enhance your assertive communication skills. I also provide space for you to practice positive conflict resolution behaviours, before trying them out in ‘real’ situations.
Supported Discussions
Supported discussions are for two or more individuals who might benefit from professional assistance to address unresolved issues, but do not need formal mediation. I can help by facilitating a supported discussion. I will start with individual interviews giving each person a chance to feel fully heard, building rapport and trust and helping each person come to deeper understandings of the issue. I will then facilitate a supported discussion that enables everyone to discuss the issues respectfully and safely.
Conflict coaching sessions take place on a scheduled basis, e.g. weekly or biweekly, for a specified period of time. Each session typically lasts from 60 minutes to 90 minutes. Individual coaching may occur in person or by telephone.
Mediation
This process allows each party to trust they have been heard and understood to their satisfaction by the other party - heard not only as to their "story", but heard as to the underlying human needs that have not been met in the conflict. With this connection present, the process moves to collaborative problem solving.
Values-based Mediation can support:
- getting clarity on what's important to you in an issue
- getting a sense of what's going on for the other person/people before you make contact
- preparing for and having difficult conversations at home, at work or in your community
- learning to create cooperative agreements in 5 steps for future use
- supporting both parties in expressing honestly & listening carefully in performance reviews at work
- clearing up old issues that still impact upon the present (this can also be done using a proxy in a role play leading to healing, for you, even when it is no longer possible, or there is no desire, to reconnect with the other person in the original dispute)
- setting agreements for moving forward
Benefits to you can begin even with your initial contact with us. We can listen deeply to what concerns you have and help you clarify how to proceed in alignment with your values.
Your plan to move forward may include
- taking time to explore the issues with us, getting a sense of both sides of the story
- practising how you might respond to future conversations with this person or group in a role play so that you learn to hear them differently and express yourself with more clarity and confidence
- having one of our mediators contacting the other person(s) in the dispute to invite them to a joint formal or informal mediation session with you and a mediator. Or, the plan might entail you extending this invitation personally.
In addition, it may include coaching/training on how to communicate in ways that increase the likelihood that you will get your needs met in relationship to the other person.
Values-based mediation works with what is alive in the parties right now; their feelings, their needs, and what would make life even better in this moment.
Once connection has been achieved and needs and values heard, solutions tend to emerge easily and spontaneously. As Marshall Rosenberg puts it, "it takes twenty minutes to come to a solution once each party has had its main need heard."
My service is based on the principles of:
- Individual respect
- Trust and support
- Learning by doing
- Personal exploration
- Creative opportunities to practice
- Tapping into your innate wisdom
- Articulating & living your deepest values
- Real-time integration into your life
Values-based Mediation & Coaching moves beyond conflict to sustainable solutions.
Values-based Mediation & Coaching can be informal and just a way of getting both parties to hear each other or formal to help resolve a more difficult or protracted conflict.
You will work towards co-creating collaborative resolutions within shared understandings of each party’s values.
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